Thrills & Mystery Podcast (free horror story this week!)

“Finger bones and toe bones rattled inside the oracle’s shaking fist, clacking and clinking as if the bones themselves were angry. When she opened her hand, the pieces fell from between her fingers like heavy raindrops in a thunderstorm.”

Click below to listen Xina Marie Uhl narrate my horror short story “Talebones” and learn if Meela can win justice for her murdered mother….

Cover for 'Thrills and Mystery Podcast - Season 1'

And then visit Amazon Kindle for more stories:

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Free audio story (this week only!)

On this week’s Thrills and Mystery podcast, my ‪horror‬ story “Talebones” http://bit.ly/1ScjQQq Give it a listen for free! And let the dread seep through your own bones. Then go buy my ‘Skin and Bones’ story collection on Amazon Kindle (where you’ll find the written version of “Talebones”)

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http://www.amazon.com/Skin-Bones-Janet-Loftis-ebook/dp/B00E19DQHA/

5-star  reviews!

Slow Times in the Checkout Line

Ever run to the pharmacy on your way to work, hoping for a quick in and out? You really need those meds, but you also don’t want to be late for work?  Right??

I usually have pretty good luck when I get there first thing in the morning, and there were only two people in line ahead of me yesterday. At first glance, that seems pretty good…except that out of a row of cash registers, there were only two employees working…at one register…because one was a trainee….and was she ever s l o w.

As I’m standing there, a few more people line up behind me, and we all wait. I start to wonder if I can get back to my car before that thirty minute window expires and the parking garage rate jumps from “free” to “one of your kidneys.”

I could hear some restless grumbles from the people behind (and the two people in front of me…still!), and I think maybe I should speak up, but knew it would come out too snarky.

And then we were all rescued by the older woman two people behind me. Shaking her silver and gray hair, she booms out, “Excuse me, can we get another register opened? The training is too slow! I’m growing older by the minute!” A pause. “There’s things I want to do before I die!”

Amid mumbles of gratitude from the rest of us, another employee showed up! So thank you, dear older woman, I hope you get to finish that list! And I hope it’s a long one too.

Oh, and thank you for making sure I got out of the parking garage with both my kidneys.

Paco for President 2016!

Don’t like any of the other presidential candidates??  Vote for Paco!!

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Paco’s Platform:

Legalized “catnip” for everyone!

Mandatory nap time at work (lots and lots of nap time).

Bring back cat worship…while respecting freedom of all religions of course.

Achieve world peace by handing everyone a purring kitten [big sigh] and, well okay, if you must, a 100-mph tail wagging squirmy puppy too.

Universal vet care.

Sponsor legislation enacting hunting season for Minnesota dentists…for one certain Minnesota dentist.

Option to receive salary in form of cat litter, cat treats, cat food, or some combo thereof.